Trusting God through the little things, not just the big ones!
After going through something as intense and difficult as cancer, especially while seeing God’s hand in everything, you think that you could overcome anything else that life throws at you. The reality of the matter is that sometimes I feel like it’s a lot “easier” to trust God with the big things in our life. When things are black and white it’s so much easier to tell which road to take and what to do next. But what about all those gray areas? What about those moments where we are not sure if God is asking us to be patient and still work towards something with all we’ve got or if a door is shutting right in our face and we don’t even realize it?
I remember the week before I found out I had cancer, God had already put it in my heart to pray about my future. My prayer went something like this: “God I have no idea what the future holds for me; all I know is that I want You to use my life any way possible so that You may be glorified through it. I feel like something big is going to happen. I don’t know what, but whatever it is I trust everything in Your hands and as long as I know it’s part of Your will I will accept it!”
So here comes the end of the week and I find out I have cancer…! But right from the beginning I knew that this was the answer to the prayer He had already given me. So I trusted Him COMPLETELY. With more faith and strength I ever thought I could possess. And there is no doubt that it was all from Him.
The months go by; I go through all my treatments and I’m still hanging on! I felt as if I was free falling and God was my parachute; keeping me safe and stopping me from crashing onto the ground, but instead telling me to just relax and enjoy the ride, even if there were some risks involved. And I can honestly tell you that I have no doubt it’s everyone’s prayers that kept me going. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the power of prayer as strongly before, during that time in my life.
But here is the thing. The storm came and left and I made it through. But what about now? What about all those moments in our lives where we don’t have to face a storm, but rather a couple of waves or even some rain. How much do we pray about those moments? And how much do we really trust God with EVERYTHING in our lives? Even the details…
Do we even realize that without those details we would never get a clear picture?
I catch myself trusting God with all the big things in my life and yet there are those days where everything seems to become a blur and I get caught up in my own thoughts and doubts. I act as if I haven’t seen God’s hand before and all the wonders He can do. I choose to see him just as someone who has a part in my life instead of who He really is and all the power He possesses. I mean He is the creator of the Universe! Not just the universe, but of every single cell in my body. He knows me inside out and knows the depths of my heart. He understands me more than I could ever understand myself and knows exactly what I need and when I need it.
How can I push such thoughts aside and get caught up in my own needs and wants? Thinking that I have something to do with what I “need” or even “deserve”. That’s the root of it all… when we take Him out of the center of our lives and think we have something/anything to do with how things should work or even turn out.
I don’t know who is reading this right now, but all I know is that through writing this God helped me regain my focus and place Him back at the center where He belongs!
It reminded me that He really does hold everything in His hands and even when things don’t seem to be clear or even when we are lost in what to do, He is never lost or confused. And I am SO relieved that He is in control and not I. At the end of the day He has my best interest in mind and wants to see me grow and become the person He intents me to be. All I can do is hold unto that and give it my best. Even when I lose focus or fall, I know that His love for me never changes and He still wants what’s best for me. So today I choose to surrender everything to Him once again and trust Him. Not with just the big things in my life, but with every detail that the day carries. And that my friends is something I have to do every day…
wake up and place HIM on the throne where He belongs!